


You Can Have My Heart

by edema_ruh



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, April Fools' Day, Grantaire plays a prank on Enjolras, Guilty Enjolras, Heart Attacks, Hurt Grantaire, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, Prank Wars, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Revenge, Secret Relationship, Self-Esteem Issues, and Enjolras decides to take his revenge on him, april fool's, except he doesn't know R has a heart condition :-D, heart issues, i like angst leave me alone, im just running out of excuses to write angst and im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-10
Updated: 2016-05-10
Packaged: 2018-06-07 15:38:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6811372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/edema_ruh/pseuds/edema_ruh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Enjolras has never liked April Fool's, but when Grantaire plays a prank on him he feels humiliated and needs to retaliate.  Except Enjolras doesn't know certain details about Grantaire's life, and things go awry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Can Have My Heart

**Author's Note:**

> I would like to make clear that I do not have any specific knowledge on medicine or medical related issues, and therefore there might be mistakes regarding the medical procedures of this story. I apologize in advance for any possible inaccuracies.

Enjolras has always hated April Fool's Day. 

He found it to be a useless celebration, that diverged people's attention from what really mattered by making everyone worry about pranks and practical jokes. Enjolras never participated on Les Amis's annual Prank War – which was usually led by Courfeyrac, Joly and Bossuet -, and everyone knew better than to prank him. The only time someone actually played a prank on him was on the first ever Prank War of the group, when Courfeyrac had sent him and envelope containing, according to him, " _a very important document he needed to look at IMMEDIATELLY!!!!!!!_ ". When Enjolras opened the envelope, glitter of all possible colors burst on his face, and it took Enjolras nearly a week to wash it all off from his body. Of course, Enjolras didn’t speak to Courfeyrac during that whole week of glittery hell, despite the man's cries and pouts that it had only been a joke. 

The fact it, Enjolras hates being pranked. It doesn’t matter how silly or small the prank is, he always finds himself flushing with humiliation whenever someone pranks him. He knows it is probably an overreaction of his part, but he feels like it's a break of his trust. For that reason, the Amis know better than to pull any pranks on Enjolras. 

Except he and Grantaire had gotten into a fight on the previous meeting – again – and Grantaire felt the need to get his petty revenge on the leader.  

The situation with Grantaire was complicated. They infuriated each other, and they were always arguing and fighting, but it was like their relationship was slowly developing, and the apex of it was the kiss they shared three weeks before. They had kissed a couple times after that – always in secret and away from anyone's view -, and they weren't exactly _dating_ , but they weren't _not-dating_ either. 

It was complicated, but so was everything between them, wasn’t it? 

The fight they had a few days before on the last meeting hadn't been their worst, but it had been ugly. It left them both fuming angrily after the meeting – which was announced to be finished by a tired Combeferre -, and Grantaire had burst out of the Musain, not looking back and closing the door loudly after him. 

Enjolras usually apologized to the cynic whenever he was too harsh or made personal attacks to him, but he wouldn’t this time. Their argument had been about politics and the only words Enjolras shouted at Grantaire were words of truth about the subject they had been discussing. After they started dating – _no, not dating_ , Enjolras corrected himself stubbornly, _after they started... making out_ -, Enjolras made his best not to insult the cynic. He knew how his harsh words affected Grantaire's self esteem, and the last thing he wanted was to see the hurt and self-loathing deep inside the man's eyes like it always happened whenever Enjolras was too harsh to him. He cared about Grantaire, and he wanted to make him happy, not... whatever he felt when Enjolras threw personal insults at him. 

The leader was surprised when he arrived at the Musain for the daily meeting and found Grantaire already there, not at the bar as he usually was, but at a table with Bahorel. Enjolras frowned, surprised; he hadn't expected to see his boyfr- his, his friend – on the meeting today, not after the discussion they had. He felt a sincere smile growing on his face and immediately suppressed it; he wasn’t going to speak to Grantaire as if nothing had happened, not until the man properly apologized. 

"The mighty Apollo arrives", Grantaire smirked, and Enjolras rolled his eyes, approaching the pair. He waved at Combeferre, who was sitting on the back of the room discussing something with Feuilly and Courfeyrac before placing both hands on the table in front of Grantaire. 

"Don't call me that", Enjolras said, sounding dryer than he had intended. He noticed the way Grantaire's smile dropped a bit, but in a second the man was standing up, both hands outstretched beside his body as if inviting Enjolras to a hug. Enjolras eyed him suspiciously. 

"Aw, don’t be like that", Grantaire fake-pouted, frowning with exaggeration. "I just want to apologize for the last meeting. I was very rude to you, and it wasn’t right of me to say those things. If you don’t want a hug, then maybe a handshake?" Grantaire outstretched his hand to Enjolras, who eyed it warily. It wasn’t usual for Grantaire to openly apologize to him like this, but it didn’t even cross Enjolras' mind that it was April Fool's Day when he decided to take the man's hand into his. It wasn’t like Grantaire would ever break his trust like this, would he? 

Enjolras felt the pain as the Handshake Shocker sent a voltage through his body, and he couldn’t hold back the yelp that left his throat. He withdrew his hand as quickly as he could, heart beating fast in surprise, already feeling the flush spreading across his neck and cheeks as Grantaire laughed loudly, crossing his arms across his belly as he leaned over and chuckled. Everyone at the Musain was staring at them, Bahorel laughing quietly and the other Amis eyeing Enjolras with apprehension.  

The leader looked around at his friends' faces, feeling more humiliated than he could remember feeling, before grabbing his backpack in a sudden gesture and marching his way out of the café, furious both at Grantaire and at himself. He could hear Combeferre's voice calling him from the distance but it didn't stop him, as he walked down the street and turned into a corner that was flooded with people. 

Enjolras only let himself stop when he found a bench on a nearby park, throwing his backpack angrily at it and letting himself fall against the wooden surface. He looked at his open palm, trying to see if the Handshake Buzzer had left any marks, but the skin looked perfectly normal. 

He held back the angry tears threatening to spill of his eyes, blinking several times to stop them from falling. He felt betrayed. He felt humiliated. He knew that his friends would probably think that he was overreacting, but he had made clear over and over how he hated to be pranked. And the fact that Grantaire had taken advantage of him, taken advantage of his willingness to forgive him, to prank him? It hurt him. He knew Enjolras would feel humiliated, that's why he chose to do that in front of all his friends. Enjolras didn’t know if he could find it in his heart to forgive him. 

His phone buzzed with a new text, and Enjolras fished it out of his pocket, breaths coming out in harsh puffs of anger. He unlocked the screen as his phone was flooded with new texts from different people. 

 

**_From:_** ** _Grantaire_** ** _(19:09)_** _Hey, I'm sorry. I didn’t think it would upset you this much_  

**_From_** ** _:_** ** _Combeferre_** ** _(19:10)_** _I'm really sorry_ _Enjolras_ _, if I had known what_ _Grantaire_ _was up to I would have talked him out of it. Are you coming back to the meeting?_  

**_From_** ** _:_** ** _Courfeyrac_** ** _(19:10)_** _Enj_ _, come on, you know how R is._ _He_ _s_ _a jerk but he didn’t mean to upset u_  

**_From_** ** _:_** ** _Grantaire_** ** _(19:11)_** _Look, I'm really_ _really_ _sorry. I'm an asshole, I keep forgetting these things hurt_ _uou_ _,_ _im_ _sorry_ _Enj_ _plae_ _se_ _come back??_  

**_From_** ** _:_** ** _Combeferre_** ** _(19:11)_** _I understand if you need some time for yourself. Just let me know if you want me to cancel the meeting and send everyone home._  

**_From_** ** _:_** ** _Courfeyrac_** ** _(19:12)_** _R is having a breakdown he thinks u hate him..._ _hes_ _rly sorry E_ _im_ _sure he_ _didn_ _t_ _think this thru_  

 

Enjolras sighed. He decided to answer Combeferre first. 

 

**_T_** ** _o:_** ** _Combeferre_** ** _(19:14)_** _Don’t cancel the meeting. I'm coming back, I just need some time._  

**_To:_** ** _Courfeyrac_** ** _(19:14)_** _Relax. I'll be back in a few._  

 

His finger hovered above Grantaire's contact name, but Enjolras decided not to reply to the man. What was he supposed to say? It's ok, I forgive you? He was still very angry and upset at Grantaire for pranking him, but a sudden thought appeared on his head. It was a meaner idea than Enjolras would usually like, but if Grantaire was truly as sorry as his friends had said, he wouldn’t mind the prank Enjolras was developing, would he?  

Enjolras didn’t like to get involved with pranks, but Grantaire had dragged him into this against his will. Now, Grantaire would have his payback. 

 

~ 

 

When Enjolras arrived at the Musain, all his friends greeted him with hugs and pats on the back. Enjolras was careful not to let them touch his hand, since he had a Handshake Buzzer glued to it. 

It wasn’t hard to find one. Since it was April Fool's, the streets were full of vendors selling all types of pranking devices. Enjolras had bought the Buzzer from a man selling them on the corner of the Musain. He would usually prefer to go to a store and buy it there, since the device would be less likely to present malfunctions, but he had no time – the meeting was already delayed in half an hour – and at least he got to help the man selling the Buzzer. 

The last one to speak to him was Grantaire. He was standing in the middle of the Musain, staring at Enjolras apologetically, with those big puppy eyes begging for Enjolras' forgiveness. Enjolras felt a tug of regret inside him, doubting whether he should go on with the plan or not. Then he remembered the way Bahorel had laughed at him, the way the Amis looked at him when he yelped. He shut his lips tight and held his head up high, staring down at Grantaire, who was sending him a desperate look now. 

"Look, Enj... Uh, Enjolras... I'm sorry", Grantaire started, sounding nervous, hands fidgeting and lower lip trembling slightly. "I didn’t mean to upset you this much, I thought it would be only a joke but... now I see it was really stupid of me. I'm stupid, I shouldn't have done that to you. I'm really really sorry ok? Please, don’t break u-… uh, don't, don't... Don't let this get in the way of our friendship? I'm really sorry". 

Enjolras stared at him for a few more seconds, displaying his most neutral face despite the confusion he was feeling. Grantaire thought he would put an end to their relationship? 

"Fine", Enjolras finally muttered. "I'm still angry, but I suppose that if you really are this sorry, I can forgive you". 

Enjolras' heart was filled with shame and regret when a warm smile grew on Grantaire's face. Could he really shock the man after seeing how truly sorry he was about this whole situation? 

"Handshake?" Grantaire offered, outstretching his hand towards Enjolras. "I promise there's nothing on it", he said, raising both palms and showing them to Enjolras as if to prove his point.  

Enjolras knew he had no way out of this now. If he said no, Grantaire would think he was still upset and probably do something self-destructive to punish himself for hurting Enjolras. Furthermore, a dark part of Enjolras, deep inside him, still wanted to get his petty revenge at the man for humiliating him. Knowing Grantaire, Enjolras knew the man would probably laugh it off, or probably even be amused at Enjolras for pranking him back. He made a decision and outstretched his own hand, grabbing Grantaire's. 

Enjolras noticed something was wrong when Grantaire didn’t make a sound other than a muffled gasp as his whole body trembled from the device's shockwaves. The leader stared in confusion as Grantaire looked at him with wide eyes, a hand raised to grab at the shirt covering his own chest, before falling limply to the ground like a ragdoll.  

"Oh my god, what have you done!" Joly yelled, knocking down a chair in his rush to get to Grantaire, who was splayed on the floor, unconscious. His eyelids were half closed and his mouth was ajar, and Joly was desperately checking his vitals at the same time he screamed for someone to call an ambulance. 

Enjolras took the Handshake Buzzer out of his palm and threw it as far away from him as he could, as if the thing had burned him. He kneeled down before Grantaire, Joly now performing CPR desperately, but a harsh hand pulled him away from the cynic. 

"Why the fuck did you do that, Enjolras?" Bossuet was demanding angrily. "Don't you know R has a heart condition?" 

" _What?_ " Enjolras asked, confused and afraid. He didn’t know Grantaire had a heart condition. The man had never told him that, how was he supposed to know? 

"The ambulance is on it's way", Combeferre announced, holding his phone halfway next to his ear. 

"Stay with me, R", Joly was panting while still performing the cardiac massage, "Don't you dare leave us, you hear me?" 

"Oh my god", Enjolras whispered, falling back on his knees and pulling Grantaire's hair away from the man's eyes. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry". There were tears flooding his eyes again, blurring his vision and this time he made no effort to hold them back, ignoring the fact that his friends could see him. "Please don't die", he whispered on Grantaire's ear, ignoring Bossuet's glare. 

The ambulance arrived and the paramedics quickly put Grantaire on a matress, dragging him away towards the ambulance as Joly followed them on their heels. Enjolras was still sitting on the floor, catatonic, until Combeferre finally approached him, a warm comforting hand on his shoulder. 

"I didn’t know", Enjolras whispered, staring at Combeferre pleadingly. "I didn’t know, I wouldn’t have done this if I knew. I just wanted to prank him back". 

"We all know, Enj", Combeferre reassured, pulling his friend into a hug. "We all know". 

"What if he dies?" Enjolras half-asked, half-sobbed, hiding his face on Combeferre's chest as his trembling hands clung tightly to his friend's shirt. 

"He won't die", Combeferre rubbed soothing circles on Enjolras' back. 

"I love him", Enjolras admitted, feeling his heart burst with emotion. "We kissed several times and I kept telling myself we're nothing more than acquaintances, that we're not boyfriends, but I love him and I can't lose him". 

Combeferre seemed thrown back by Enjolras' declaration, but kept rubbing his back. 

"I never told him", Enjolras whispered, desperate. Combeferre held him tighter. "I never told him how I feel". 

"It's ok", Combeferre said. "You can tell him when he wakes up". 

"What if-" 

"He _will_ wake up, Enjolras", Combeferre interrupted. He had never seen Enjolras this nervous, or this... cynic. 

"This is my fault", Enjolras whispered, going boneless on Combeferre's embrace, and he had to pick the man by his shoulders and prop him into a sitting position on the floor. 

"You didn't know better", Combeferre said, looking Enjolras in the eye. "Now let's go grab something to eat and head to the hospital, how does that sound?" 

"I'm not hungry", Enjolras said, cleaning away the few tears that managed to escape from his eyes. "Can we just go straight to the hospital please?" 

Combeferre let out a sigh, getting up from the floor and helping Enjolras up. 

"I don’t understand", Enjolras said, voice barely a whisper, as they made their way to the hospital on Combeferre's car. "If he has a heart condition, how come he drinks so much?" 

"I don’t think he cares about that", Combeferre replied honestly, after a few seconds in silence. 

"But he could die!" Enjolras protested. 

"I think he knows that", Combeferre sighed. "And I think this is something you two should talk about, privately, preferably when he's well and out of the hospital, ok?" 

Enjolras bit his lower lip before nodding reluctantly, dropping the discussion. 

"Enjolras, what happened was probably due to a malfunction on the buzzing device", Combeferre explained. "Even with Grantaire's condition, it shouldn’t be able to do this much damage to him. Where did you buy it?" 

"On the street", Enjoltas admitted, ashamed. "A man was selling them near the Musain. I didn’t even think about this possibility, I just... I felt so humiliated, I wanted to make him see how I felt". 

Combeferre tsked, shaking his head. 

"You two will be the death of Joly", he said, and just like that, the conversation was over. None of them said anything else until they arrived on the hospital. 

Joly was on the waiting room, which was to be expected since he had accompanied Grantaire on the ambulance ride, but Bossuet and Jehan were already there. Enjolras arrived with Combeferre and Courfeyrac, and Enjolras pretended that the look Joly sent him didn't hurt. 

"How is he, Joly?" Combeferre asked, sitting beside the man. 

"He's stable", Joly said, tired. "I swear to god, I'm nearly having a heart attack myself. His heart stopped but they managed to resurrect him on the ambulance. He'll have to stay here overnight just to make sure he's actually ok, but he'll be cleared to go tomorrow morning". 

"Is he awake? Can I see him?" Enjolras asked impulsively. Joly glared at him. 

"He's not awake yet, but a nurse will let us know when he is", he told Enjolras dryly. 

"Joly, I am sorry", Enjolras said, dropping on the chair beside the young doctor. "I really am. I didn’t know he had a heart condition, and the Handshake Buzzer I bought was malfunctioning. I meant no harm, I would never do this to him intentionally". 

Joly glared at him for a few more seconds but eventually gave in, closing his eyes and letting his head fall back to lean on the wall behind him. 

"I know you wouldn’t", Joly said. "I was just worried about him, that's all. But you would have known he has a heart condition if you had bothered to ask", he sent Enjolras a knowing look. 

"I know, I'm...", Enjolras started. "It just never occurred to me". 

"You owe him an apology", Joly sighed. "You know how his self-esteem is, he'll think he deserved that. He didn’t", Joly pointed. 

"I'll apologize to him a thousand times if that's what it takes", Enjolras reassured him. 

"Mr Grantaire?" a nurse asked, approaching the group. Joly, Bossuet and Enjolras stood up at the same time, being followed by the rest of the Amis. The nurse stared at them for a second before announcing: "Mr Grantaire just woke up. You can see him now if you want, but I can only allow one of you at the time". 

"I'll go", Enjolras and Joly said simultaneously. They stared at each other in confusion. 

"It's ok, you go first", Enjolras said, sitting down on the plastic chair of the waiting room. Joly nodded and followed the nurse out, as Enjolras nervously tapped his foot on the floor and bit his nails. 

"What's up with you?" Bossuet asked, frowning. 

"Excuse me?" Enjolras frowned back. 

"You never treated R like anything other than an acquaintance. Over the last weeks you stopped insulting him and now you're all worried about him on a hospital room. What changed?" 

Enjolras gaped at Bossuet, not knowing what to say. None of their friends knew about his relationship with Grantaire, Combeferre himself had only learned about it a few minutes ago and even so Enjolras shouldn’t have told him without Grantaire's consent. 

"He's my friend", Enjolras answered simply. "I care about him as much as I care about any of you". 

Bossuet scoffed, rolling his eyes. 

"Right, Enjolras", he said, leaning back on the chair and putting an end to the conversation. 

It took Joly barely ten minutes to come back, but to Enjolras it felt like hours. When the man finally returned, Enjolras' nails were so bit down they had drawn blood – he knew Combeferre would scold him for that later – and he was anxiously tapping both feet on the floor.  

"You can see him now", Joly said, dropping on the nearest chair. "But take it easy on him, he's very tired and for fuck's sake, don't you dare start an argument with him or I won't answer for my actions". 

Enjolras got up, going down the hall in a fast pace, footsteps echoing across the corridor. He knocked on the bedroom door before entering, and he was halfway into opening it when Grantaire's raspy voice mustered out a weak "come in". 

He found Grantaire lying on the bed, looking pale and exhausted. His dark curls were falling above his eyes but he didn’t seem to care, and the constant beep of his heart monitor sent a wave of relief across Enjolras, who broke into a jog and pulled Grantaire into his arms. 

"Apollo", Grantaire whispered, and when Enjolras pulled back he saw the man's eyes closed, the hint of a smile surging on his lips. 

"R, I'm so, so sorry", Enjolras started, pulling the man's hair away from his eyes affectionately. "I didn’t mean to, I didn’t know you had a heart disease and that thing I bought wasn’t working properly, I shouldn’t have done that to you, specially not after you apologized and showed how sorry you were, I wasn’t thinking straight and I got really angry and I am so, so sorry for this, please forg-" 

"Enjolras, it's fine", Grantaire interrupted with a chuckle, pulling Enjolras hands away from his hair - he was repeatedly throwing Grantaire's curls back – and held them reassuringly. "I shouldn't have pranked you either, I'm really sorry about that. And I know you didn’t mean to. It was an accident". 

"An accident that could have killed you", Enjolras muttered, biting his lower lip. "Why didn’t you tell me you have a heart issue?" 

Grantaire looked away from Enjolras, embarrassed. 

"I... I didn’t want to give you any more reasons to be mad at me", Grantaire explained, not looking at the leader, who frowned. 

"Mad? Why would I be mad at you for having a heart condition?" 

Grantaire let out a self-deprecating snort – Enjolras hated when he did that – before answering. 

"Because I keep drinking despite that", he explained. 

Enjolras sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed and taking Grantaire's hands into his. He used his other hand to touch Grantaire's chin lightly, slowly turning the man's head towards him until their eyes met. 

"This is a matter for another time", Enjolras said. "Right now you need to focus on getting better, ok?" 

Grantaire hummed, closing his eyes and squeezing Enjolras's hand. 

"I do feel tired", he mumbled. 

 "Go to sleep, R", Enjolras said, caressing the man's hair. "I'll stay with you". 

Grantaire nodded, breathing evening out as tiredness overcame him. 

"I love you", Grantaire slurred, drunk from sleepiness. 

Enjolras starred at him in shock for a few seconds, wondering if he had imagined that. Could it be? 

"I love you too", Enjolras whispered when he was sure Grantaire was asleep. His heart skipped a beat when Grantaire's eyes opened and stared at him in awe. 

"Wha' was that?" Grantaire asked. Enjolras felt himself getting flushed again. 

"I... I..." Enjolras stuttered, nervous. He thought Grantaire was sleeping! He wasn’t supposed to hear that. 

But he had. 

He really didn’t have a choice now, did he? He knew what he felt for Grantaire, he knew how terrified he felt under the possibility of losing the man, he knew he needed to let Grantaire know how much he meant to him before he lost his chance. He wanted Grantaire to be his. And he wanted to be Grantaire's. 

"I said I love you", Enjolras repeated, taking a deep breath. Grantaire was staring at him with wide eyes, and Enjolras got to his feet, terrified, when Grantaire's heart monitor sped up loudly. "Grantaire? What's wrong?" 

Grantaire took a deep breath, tears flooding his eyes, and Enjolras looked around in despair, trying to find a button or phone to contact a nurse. He found a button and was about to slam it, but Grantaire managed to catch his hand in time, stopping him. 

"No, don't", Grantaire protested, chuckling. "I'm sorry, I just... you really love me?" 

"Yes!" Enjolras exclaimed. "I love you, and I'm sorry I didn’t tell you before. And... well, if you want, of course, I'd... I would like for us to have an official relationship". 

"Are you saying that you want me to be your boyfriend?" Grantaire asked, a shining smile spreading on his face. 

"Well, if that's the term you want to use... Yes. I want to be your boyfriend", Enjolras smiled, squeezing Grantaire's hand. 

Grantaire leaned in for a kiss and Enjolras closed the distance between them, lips connecting.  

"Please, don't ever scare me like this again", Enjolras whispered after they parted, foreheads leaning against each other's. 

"I won't", Grantaire whispered back, eyelids fluttering close. "I'm sorry". 

"It's ok. It was my fault anyway". 

"Stop blaming yourself, it was an accident", Grantaire placed a sloppy kiss on the tip of Enjolras' nose. The leader smiled at this, returning the nose kiss. "I love you", Grantaire muttered. 

"I love you, too", Enjolras said, pulling his boyfriend into another embrace.

**Author's Note:**

> If you have medical knowledge and have found any mistakes on this story, feel free to correct me on the comment section so that I can rewrite it to be more accurate.   
> Kudos and Comments make me a happy writer, constructive criticism is always appreciated and you can always find me on edema--ruh.tumblr.com


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